How To Express Sympathy: What To Say And What Not to Say
Mindfulness-based messages can help your co-worker find peace and comfort in the present moment. It’s a way of acknowledging the pain of their loss, while also encouraging them to focus on the present moment and find peace.
25 sympathy and condolence email messages for coworkers
Offer your support with our 25 condolence message templates. Comfort a coworker during a difficult time with these heartfelt messages.
Losing a loved one is never easy, and it can be particularly difficult to know how to express your condolences to a co-worker who has suffered a loss. A heartfelt message can offer comfort and support during a difficult time, but it’s important to choose your words carefully. In this article, we’ll discuss five different types of condolence messages you can write for a co-worker, along with 10 examples for each type.
1. Sympathy message
A sympathy message is a simple expression of sorrow and compassion for the loss your co-worker is experiencing. It’s a way of acknowledging their pain and letting them know that you are there for them.
- I’m so sorry for your loss. Please know that I’m here for you if you need anything.
- My heart goes out to you during this difficult time.
- Please accept my deepest sympathies for your loss.
2. Personal memory message
Sharing a personal memory or story about the person who passed away can be a meaningful way to offer comfort to your co-worker. It shows that you understand their loss and are willing to share in their grief.
- I’ll always remember the time your loved one made us all laugh during that team building exercise.
- Your loved one was always so kind to me when we worked together, and I’ll never forget that.
- I have fond memories of working with your loved one on that big project last year.
3. Spiritual message
If you know that your co-worker is religious or spiritual, you may want to include a message that reflects their beliefs. This can be a source of comfort and support during a difficult time.
- Your loved one is now in a better place and watching over you.
- I’m praying for you and your family during this difficult time.
4. Inspirational message
- An inspirational message can help your co-worker find strength and hope during a difficult time. It’s a way of offering encouragement and reminding them that they are not alone.
- Even though it may not feel like it now, you will get through this.
- Your loved one’s memory will live on through the impact they made on the world.
- The love and support of your friends and family will help you through this difficult time.
5. Practical message
In addition to offering emotional support, it’s also helpful to offer practical assistance to your co-worker. This can include offering to help with work-related tasks, running errands, or simply being there to listen.
- If you need help with anything at work, please don’t hesitate to ask.
- I’m happy to bring you dinner or run errands for you if that would be helpful.
- If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here to listen.
6. Energy-based message
If your co-worker is spiritual, but not necessarily religious, they may appreciate an energy-based message. This type of message acknowledges the power of positive energy and offers a message of love and support.
- Sending you positive energy and love during this difficult time.
- May the universe surround you with light and comfort.
- Wishing you peace and healing energy during this time of loss.
7. Mindfulness-based message
Mindfulness-based messages can help your co-worker find peace and comfort in the present moment. It’s a way of acknowledging the pain of their loss, while also encouraging them to focus on the present moment and find peace.
- Take deep breaths and focus on the present moment. You are not alone in your grief.
- May you find moments of peace and stillness amidst the pain of your loss.
- Sending you mindfulness and love as you navigate this difficult time.
Incorporating these spiritual, but not religious types of messages into your condolence message can help you provide your co-worker with a message of love, hope, and comfort that is tailored to their individual needs and beliefs.
Email templates
My heartfelt condolences
Subject: My heartfelt condolences
I was deeply saddened to hear of your recent loss. Please know that I am here for you during this difficult time. Losing someone we love is never easy, but please take comfort in knowing that you are surrounded by people who care about you and want to support you.
If you need anything at all, whether it’s help with work or just someone to talk to, please don’t hesitate to reach out. My thoughts are with you and your family.
Sending you love and support
Subject: Sending you love and support
I just wanted to reach out and let you know how much I’m thinking of you during this difficult time. Losing someone we love is never easy, but please know that you are not alone.
If there’s anything I can do to help, whether it’s taking on some of your workload or just being there to listen, please don’t hesitate to ask. I’m sending you love and support, and I’m here for you in any way I can be.
Thinking of you
Subject: Thinking of you
I was so sorry to hear about your recent loss. I know this must be an incredibly difficult time for you and your family. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.
If you ever need someone to talk to, or if there’s anything I can do to help, please don’t hesitate to reach out. You are not alone in your grief, and I’m here to support you in any way I can.
Sending you love and light,
Deepest sympathies
Subject: Deepest sympathies
I was deeply saddened to hear about your recent loss. Please know that you have my deepest sympathies during this difficult time. Losing a loved one is never easy, but please take comfort in knowing that you are surrounded by people who care about you and want to support you.
If you need anything at all, please don’t hesitate to reach out. My thoughts are with you and your family.
Remembering your loved one
Subject: Remembering your loved one
I was so sorry to hear about the passing of your loved one. They were such a wonderful person, and I feel lucky to have had the opportunity to know them. I’ll always remember the way they made everyone laugh and feel welcome.
Please know that I’m here for you during this difficult time. If you need anything at all, whether it’s help with work or just someone to talk to, please don’t hesitate to reach out. I’m sending you love and support.
Wish you peace and comfort
Subject: Wishing you peace and comfort
I wanted to reach out and let you know that I’m thinking of you during this difficult time. Losing a loved one is never easy, and I can only imagine the pain you’re feeling right now.
Please know that I’m here for you in any way I can be. Whether you need someone to talk to or just a listening ear, I’m here. Wishing you peace and comfort as you navigate this difficult time.
When to send a condolence message
Knowing when to send a condolence message to a co-worker is important. You want to make sure you offer your support and comfort at the right time, without being intrusive. Here are five examples of when to send a condolence message to a co-worker:
Immediately after you hear the news
If you hear the news of your co-worker’s loss directly from them or from someone else in the office, it’s appropriate to reach out as soon as possible. This shows that you are thinking of them and care about their well-being.
Before the funeral or memorial service
If you know when the funeral or memorial service is going to be held, it’s appropriate to send a condolence message beforehand. This can help your co-worker feel supported and comforted during what is likely to be a difficult time.
On the anniversary of the loved one’s passing
Sending a condolence message on the anniversary of the loved one’s passing can be a touching way to show your continued support and care. It can also help your co-worker feel less alone during what can be a challenging time.
Around holidays or special occasions
Holidays and special occasions can be particularly difficult for those who have lost a loved one. Sending a condolence message during these times can help your co-worker feel supported and cared for, even when they are struggling.
When your co-worker returns to work
When your co-worker returns to work after their loss, it’s appropriate to send a condolence message to show that you are thinking of them and are there to support them as they transition back into work.
In general, it’s important to send a condolence message as soon as you are able, and to follow up with additional messages of support and care as needed. By being mindful of when to send your message, you can offer comfort and support to your co-worker during a difficult time.
In conclusion, writing a condolence message for a co-worker can be a difficult task, but it’s an important way to show your support during a difficult time. By choosing your words carefully and tailoring your message to your co-worker’s needs, you can offer comfort and support when they need it most.
How To Express Sympathy: What To Say And What Not to Say
We’ve compiled a list of things to say—and things to avoid saying—when offering condolences.
What To Say To Express Sympathy
The goal of expressing sympathy is to offer your compassion and concern for the bereaved. You can say how much you will miss the person who died or you can share a happy memory. While it might be hard to know what to say to someone who lost a loved one, the most important thing to communicate is that you care about the bereaved person and you’re available as a source of support.
“I’m sorry for your loss.”
While this phrase has become a cliché, it’s a simple and succinct way of communicating your empathy. If you are at a loss for words, telling a person “I’m sorry for your loss” can let the person know that you care.
“My condolences.”
This is another safe option. Other variations: “my deepest condolences” or “my condolences to you and your family.”
“You’re in my thoughts/I’m thinking of you.”
Letting the person know you are aware of the emotional difficulty of the situation can help a bereaved person feel less isolated in their experience, and reminding the person that you care enough to be thinking about them can help a bereaved person feel less isolated in the world.
“S/he was a wonderful person.”
“I will miss him/her.”
“This must be so hard for you.”
Acknowledging the pain and grief that the bereaved is feeling can be very consoling. Many people who experience a loss feel alone and isolated in their feelings, and by acknowledging the emotional difficulty of the situation you can help make the bereaved feel less alone.
“I love you.”
If you’re close enough, reminding a grieving person that you love them can be powerful. Grief can leave people feeling alone; by reminding them that you love them and are there for them can be a reminder that they’re not alone.
“When you’re ready, I’d like to get together to learn more about [the deceased’s name].”
If you didn’t know the person who died, offering to listen to the bereaved can make them feel cared for and take some of the pressure off of immediate interactions. Letting the bereaved know that you’re there for them in the future can be a huge comfort during a stressful and painful time.
Share a memory of the person who died.
It doesn’t have to be an epic revelation, you can think of something small and meaningful. Perhaps they taught you something you still use in your daily life, or maybe something funny they did that always makes you smile.
What Not To Say To Someone Who Has Experienced A Loss
Many people are afraid to say the “wrong thing” to someone who has just experienced a loss. Because a bereaved person is typically feeling overwhelmed and highly emotional, the stakes feel very high. You should try to speak from a place of love and compassion, and honestly acknowledge the situation. Three good rules to follow when figuring out what not to say are:
- Don’t deny that the person who died is dead.
- Don’t deny that the bereaved is in emotional pain.
- Don’t deny that this death may change everyone’s lives forever.
“I know how you are feeling.”
While this may seem like an empathic statement, it often has the opposite effect. Everyone experiences loss and grief differently, and you should encourage the bereaved to have their unique experience of the loss. A better way to express your empathy might be, “If you want to talk about how you are feeling, know that I am here for you.”
“S/he is in a better place.”
This statement has the potential to be offensive. “So being dead is better than being with me and our children?” This is often said to comfort the bereaved, especially when a person has no idea what to say, but it can have the opposite effect.
“How are you doing/holding up?”
For most people who have experienced a death, the answer to this question is “Not well.” While we want to check in with people who are in grief, the casualness of this question often forces someone struggling with grief to put on a false face.
“Now you can start moving on with your life.”
After a prolonged or painful illness death can seem like a relief, but you should never make it seem like the loss of a loved one eliminated a burden. A grieving person needs time and space to process the loss and grieve, especially if they spent months or years providing care to the deceased.
“I don’t know what I would do if my [deceased’s relationship to the bereaved] died.”
While this statement may be absolutely true for you, it does nothing to comfort the bereaved. It may make the bereaved person feel even more isolated in their grief. Instead, try acknowledging the profoundness of the loss and let the person know that you are there as a source of comfort and support.
“At least the death was quick so there wasn’t pain.”
Death is incredibly difficult no matter the form it takes. While you may want to help the person look on the “upside,” you’re making an assumption that can be taken the wrong way by a person consumed by grief.
“At least you had a chance to say goodbye.”
It’s often viewed as a positive thing if the bereaved was with their loved one when they passed, but it can also be a small consolation in the grand scheme of thing. Here’s a good rule to keep in mind when expressing sympathy: Never start a sentence with “at least.”
“Don’t worry, you’ll feel better soon.”
While you may want to help the bereaved look toward the future, it’s important to give a grieving person the time and space to experience their feelings. Grief doesn’t have a timeline so don’t pressure them to “get over it.”