Corny jokes

100 Corny Jokes to Keep You and the Fam Cracking Up

23. How do you ask out a baker?
Bring them flours.

The 100 Very Best of Corny Jokes

Good simple jokes can be hard to come across, some are too complicated and others can be too simple! From one-liners to dad jokes, these funny corny jokes will have you prepared to make people laugh anytime!

100 Best Corny Jokes of All Time

1. Why didn’t the skeleton get a prom date?
He didn’t have the guts to ask anyone.

2. What do you call a fish with no eyes?

3. What’s brown and sticky?
A stick!


4. What did the policeman say to his belly?
You’re under a vest.

5. Why do the seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels.

6. Why is grass so dangerous?
It’s full of blades.

7. How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it

8. How did the two cats end their fight?
They hissed and made up.

9. What kind of music do planets like?

10. What do elf’s learn in school?
The elf-abet.

11. Why did the strawberry cry?
His parents were in a jam.

12. Why did the chicken cross the park?
To get to the other slide.

13. Can February March?
No, but April May!

14. Why did the photo go to jail?
Because it was framed.

15. How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
Poke her face!

16. What wears a cap but doesn’t have a head?
A water bottle!

17. What’s black and white and read all over?
A newspaper!

corny jokes

18. What do runners eat before a race?
Nothing they fast!

19. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
She will let it go!

20. Why did the ball leave the party early?
He was on a roll!

21. What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?
Give me my quarterback!

22. Why don’t they play poker in the jungle?
There are too many cheetahs!

23. How do you ask out a baker?
Bring them flours.

24. Why couldn’t the sailor do his alphabet?
He got lost at the C!

25. Why did the student eat his homework?
He was told it’d be a piece of cake

26. Did you hear about two guys who stole a calendar?
I heard they both got six months!

27. Why did Mickey Mouse go to space?
He wanted to find Pluto!

28. Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?
Because it’d be a foot!

corny jokes

29. How did the barber win the race?
He knew a shortcut!

30. If a cop pulls over a Uhaul, did he bust a move?

31. A man was attacked by string instruments. It was a violin-t act!

32. Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
It got stuck in a crack!

33. Two fish are in a tank, one turns to the other and asks “how do you drive this thing?”

34. What kind of jewellery do rabbits wear?
14 carrot gold!

35. What do you call a coffee robbery?
A mugging!

Corny Jokes: Part 2

36. Where did Captain Hook but his hook?
The second-hand store.

37. Why did the tomato blush?
He saw the salad dressing.

38. I got thrown out of a park because I was rearranging squirrels by height.
They didn’t like my critter sizing!

39. How did the rabbit feel after winning the lottery?
Super hoppy!

40. What did 50 Cent do when he was hungry?

41. Why should you never fight a dinosaur?
You’ll get jurasskicked!

42. Do they allow loud laughing in Hawaii?
Or is it just a low ha?

43. What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?
Ham boogers!

corny jokes

44. What do you call a sad strawberry?
A blue berry!

45. Due to quarantine, I will only be telling inside jokes!

46. Why are pirates called pirates?
They just ARRRR!

47. What did the ocean say to the sand?
Nothing, it just waved!

48. Why was the ocean upset?
It felt a little crabby.

49. What does the dentist of the year get?
A little plaque.

50. What did the woman say when all her lamps were stolen?
Nothing, she was delighted!

51. A book fell on my head. I can only blame my shelf.

52. I started telling everyone about the benefits of eating fried grapes.
I’m raisin awareness.

53. What do you call an angry carrot?
A steamed veggie!

54. Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators?
It lifts their spirits!

corny jokes

55. How do you put an alien baby to sleep?
You rocket.

56. Why did the pie go to the dentist?
To get a filling!

57. Why are teddy bears never hungry?
They are always stuffed!

58. I lost an electron.
You really have to keep an ion them!

59. Did you know that alligators can grow up to 15 feet?
Well, I didn’t they usually only have 4!

60. Why did the cucumber call 911?
He was in a pickle!

61. Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work!

62. What did the nut say to the other nut in a game of tag?
Imma cashew!

63. Why didn’t the lightbulb eat a lot?
He wanted a light supper!

64. What do you call a shaker cow?
Beef jerky!

65. If you watch an Apple store get robbed, are you an iwitness?

66. What do you call a pile of cats?
A meowtain!

67. I farted on my wallet. Now I have gas money!

short corny jokes

68. What did the pig say when it was hot outside?
I’m bacon out here!

69. What did the triangle say to the circle?
You’re pointless.

Corny Jokes: Part 3

70. Did you hear about the guy who cut off the left side of his body?
He was all right.

71. What rock group has four men that don’t sing?
Mount Rushmore!

72. What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer?

73. What do you call an American bee?

74. Why do cows have hooves and not feet?
They lactose.

75. I have a fear of speed bumps.
I’m slowly getting over them.

76. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?

77. What do you call a belt with a clock on it?
A waist of time!

smart corny jokes

78. What do you call a chicken that is staring at a lettuce?
Chicken sees a salad.

79. What did the shark say when he ate a clownfish?
This tastes a little funny.

80. What do French fries do after a long time?
They ketchup!

81. Why don’t ants get sick?
Because they have anty bodies!

82. What did the traffic light say to the other traffic light?
Don’t look, I’m changing!

83. Where did the cat go after losing its tail?
To the retail store!

84. What tree can you fit in your hand?
A palm tree!

85. What flower do you have between your nose and chin?
Two lips!

86. What do you call when a cow jumps on a trampoline?
A milkshake!

87. What’s the world’s tallest building?
A library because it has the most stories!

88. My horse’s name is mayo. Because mayo neighs!

89. Why does Waldo only wear striped shirts?
Because he doesn’t want to be spotted!

corny jokes to tell

90. What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
A pouch potato!

91. What kind of mistakes do ghosts make?

92. Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honeycombs!

93. What do you get when you cross a cactus and a pig?
Porky pine!

94. What do clouds wear under their shorts?
Thunder pants!

95. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear!

96. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.

97. What is brown and rhymes with snoop?
Dr. Dre…

98. What did the buffalo say when he dropped off his son for school?

99. Why was the student’s report card wet?

His grades were below c-level.

100. What’s the difference between ignorance and indifference?

I don’t know and I don’t care

Hi, I’m Leighla; during High school, I fell in love with writing and mostly creative writing. I love anything from poetry to plays, short stories, and more! I took a lot of Art and Creative Writing classes and hoped to be an Art/LA teacher one day. As my teachers inspired me, I’d like to inspire others.

100 Corny Jokes to Keep You and the Fam Cracking Up

From punny jests to silly one-liners, these goodies will get everyone laughing.

preview for The Best Dad Jokes Of All Time

It hasn’t been an easy couple of years for just about anybody, but if there’s one thing we should know for certain by now it’s that laughter helps make the tough times better. There’s nothing like a good, hearty guffaw to cheer you up, whether it’s a groan-worthy dad joke tickling your funny bone, or a joke for kids so goofy it can’t help but strike you as funny. And then there all all those hilarious ha-has inspired by holidays like Valentine’s Day and St. Patrick’s Day, some of which we’ve included here, in our list of the 100 best corny jokes.

Yep, we’ve gathered up the corniest, funniest bon mots you’ll find anywhere, and there are enough here to take your whole family through 12 big months of hooting and hollering. Memorize a few and then after you’ve shared them with the kids, your extended family, friends and even co-workers, come back to our list for even more. We have some classic one liners, knock-knocks and puns you might know and love—but also plenty that will be new to you, too. Best of all, these jokes are corny enough have one thing in common: they’re all pretty much guaranteed to make anyone and everyone grin.

  1. What did one hat say to the other? You stay here. I’ll go on ahead.
  2. Where do pirates get their hooks? Secondhand stores.
  3. Knock knock. Who’s there? Boo. Boo who? Don’t cry, I’m only joking!
  4. What did the pirate say when he turned 80? Aye matey.
  5. What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts!
  6. Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.
  7. What do you call a sad cup of coffee? Depresso.
  8. Irish puns are the most O’ffensive.
  9. I went to buy some camo pants but couldn’t find any.
  10. Knock knock. Who’s there? Adore. Adore who? Adore is between us, so please open up.
  11. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
  12. How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend? He gave her a ring.
  13. What do horses say when they fall? Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t giddy up.
  14. If a parsley farmer gets sued, can they garnish his wages?
  15. Knock knock. Who’s there? Candice. Candice who? Candice joke get any worse?
  16. I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.
  17. What runs but never goes anywhere? A refrigerator.
  18. What do you call a beehive without an exit? Unbelievable.
  19. What did the cucumber say to the pickle? You mean a great dill to me.
  20. Why don’t we see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.